i feel so fat.
especially after not eating for 30 hours
then pigging out at Valentino's.
AND THEN, reading everything on twitter about height and weight stuff.
):
and i thought i was a twig.

nebraska.

make up your damn mind up about weather.
i'm really happy about this week's temperatures.
keep it this way please?
i'm getting sick of the below thirties and snow.
i mean, last week was grossly cold.
no me gusta that cold.
me gusta warm.
like this week.

my mother found my webcam
she's making me get rid of it.
i to be honest don't care.
but i'm giving it to jimmy.
yeahhhhhh.


why do i blog at the worst times?
i don't know.

so, yesterday actually wasn't that bad of a day. i was quite surprised about that. it was ms. sosalla's birthday. ^ note the video above ^ (okay well it wasn't her birthday, today is, but yeah) carl made signs for her and cinnamon roll muffins, and even sang for her. if you were a bystander, you'd think he had a crush on her. but no. she's just the most awesome math teacher ever in existance. anna, carl, a bunch of other people, and i, all agree on this. it's pretty awesome.

i didn't do much after i got home from school though. i went to take pictures outside, and then i also went on firstclass to figure out who was going to go to the academy is concert with me that happens tonight. my other friend hannah (no yt; irl) said she'd go with me, since we're both mega party animals together. and thank goodness she drives. that means i have rides there and back too! i'm happy. i can't wait.

otherwise, yesterday after school was boring. i could have watch a movie, but i didn't. i could have done homework, but i didn't. i just sat and was unproductive. thanks zombie chat for excluding me, jerks. -_-

but yeah. that's all i need to talk about today. woo!

so excited. so so so excited.

internet fails

so, internet was down for a good first few mods today. 

i am lucky enough to be in cross training the first two mods. 

so i didn't have a problem.

it is third mod now, and the internet just turned back on.

i was freaking out because i needed to use the online book to do my math homework.

but i went to the math imc to borrow the book

so i could do my math homework.

and once it was done.

and once i finished writing something for jeremy, 

then internet turned back on.

and now, it's off again.

and i hate our school internet.

and this is why, this is why, this is why i'm hot.

not.

in my cursive

i realized i don't like this at all. why don't i just tell my parents about it? am i really that scared of the consequences? does the scare factor of never talking to them ever again really scare me? yes, it does. i don't want my parents to not take me seriously, but if they take me head on serious, they may not be happy of me. they may take away all communication tools i have to get in contact with them. i'm sure they might monitor everything i do. it'd be like november all over again.

but really, everyone asks me what the worst could happen if i did tell them. obviously, what i said above is my scary thought. i know it's extreme, it's just enough to make me not want to tell them. i don't know what my dad would say. he'd be more chill about it, probably. but my mother, she'd be the one who'd lecture me day in day out. i hate her lectures, because i know it all already. i'm aware of the dangers i put myself though, but i trust myself enough that none of you guys are rapists.

i wish i could just come out right with it to them. i just... don't know exactly how. i'm not sure i'll ever know exactly how. so farewell chances of going to gatherings. fear is the consumer of me. i don't like hiding secrets from them, but i don't know how i'd get them to shut up before i could finish talking. 

i really don't know what to do. it's not fair.

:/

xoxo.

mall w/ hannah + winter formal. (in pictures)

meh.

meh.